that had remained undivided, there was a sum ofabout two thousand roubles to come to him as his share.Nikolay said that he had come now to take this moneyand, w brande nicole roderick hat was more important, to stay a while in the old760 of 1759
Anna Kareninanest, to get in touch with the earth, so as to renew hisstrength like the heroes of old for the work that lay beforehim. In spite of his exaggerated stoop, and the emaciationthat was so striking from his height, his movements wereas rapid and abrupt as ever. Levin led him into his study.His brother dressed with particular care—a thing henever used to do—combed his scanty, lank hair, and,smiling, went upstairs.He was in the most affectionate and good-humoredmood, just as Levin often remembe brande nicole roderick red him in childhood.He even referred to Sergey Ivanovitch without rancor.When he saw Agafea Mihalovna, he made jokes with herand asked after the old servants. The news of the death ofParfen Denisitch made a painful impression on him. Alook of fear crossed his face, but he regained his serenityimmediately.Of course he was quite old, he said, and changed thesubject. Well, Ill spend a month or two with you, andthen Im off to Moscow. Do you know, Myakov haspromised me a place there, and Im going into the service.Now Im going to arrange my life quite differently, hewent on. You know I got rid of that woman.Marya Nikolaevna? Why, what for?761 of 1759
Anna KareninaOh, she was a horrid woman! She caused me all sortsof worries. But he did not say what the annoyances were.He could not say that he had cast off Mar brande nicole roderick ya Nikolaevnabecause the tea was weak, and, above all, because shewould look after him, as though he were an invalid.Besides, I want to turn over a new leaf completelynow. Ive done silly things, of course, like everyone else,but moneys the last consideration; I dont regret it. Solong as theres health, and my health, thank God, is quiterestored.Levin listened and racked his brains, but could think ofnothing to say. Nikolay probably felt the same; he beganquestioning his brother about his affairs; and Levin wasglad to talk about himself, because then he could speakwithout hypocrisy. He told his brother of his plans and hisdoings.His brother listened, but evidently he was notinterested by it.These two men were so akin, so near each other, thatthe slightest gesture, the tone of voice, told both moretha brande nicole roderick n could be said in words.Both of them now had only one thought—the illnessof Nikolay and the nearness of his death—which stifled allelse. But neither of them dared to speak of it, and so762 of 1759
Anna Kareninawhatever they said— not uttering the one thought thatfilled their minds—was all falsehood. Never had Levinbeen so glad when the evening was over and it was timeto go to bed. Never with any outside person, never onany official visit had he been so unnatural and false as hewas that evening. And the consciousness of thisunnaturalness, and the remorse he felt at it, made himeven more unnatural. He wanted to weep over his dying,dearly loved brother, and he had to listen and keep ontalking of how he meant to live.As the house was damp, and only one bedroom hadbeen kept heated, Levin put his brother to sleep in hisown bedroom behind a screen.His brother got into bed, and whether he slept or didnot sleep, tossed about like a sick man, coughed, andwhen he could not get his throat clear, mumbledsomething. Sometimes when his breathing was painful, hesaid, Oh, my God! Sometimes when he was choking hemuttered angrily, Ah, the devil! Levin could not sleep fora long while, hearing him. His thoughts were of the mostvarious, but the end of all his thoughts was the same—death. Death, the inevitable end of all, for the first timepresented itself to him with irresistible force. And death,which was here in this loved brother, groaning half asleep763 of 1759 brande nicole roderick
Anna Kareninaand from habit calling without distinction on God and thedevil, was not so remote as it had hitherto seemed to him.It was in himself too, he felt that. If not today, tomorrow,if not tomorrow, in thirty years, wasnt it all the same!And what was this inevitable death—he did not know,had never thought about it, and what was more, had notthe power, had not the courage to think about it.I work, I want to do something, but I had forgotten itmust all end; I had forgotten—death.He sat on his bed in the darkness, crouched up,hugging his knees, and holding his breath from the strainof thought, he pondered. But the more intensely hethought, the clearer it became to him that it wasindubitably so, that in reality, looking upon life, he hadforgotten one little fact—that death will come, and allends; that nothing was even worth beginning, and thatthere was no helping it anyway. Yes, it was awful, but itwas so.But I am alive still. Now whats to be done? whats tobe done? he said in despair. He lighted a candle, got upcautiously and went to the looking-glass, and beganlooking at his face and hair. Yes, there were gray hairsabout his temples. He opened his mouth. His back teethwere beginning to decay. He bared his muscular arms.764 of 1759 brande nicole roderick
Anna KareninaYes, there was strength in them. But Nikolay, who laythere breathing with what was left of lungs, had had astrong, healthy body too. And suddenly he recalled howthey used to go to bed together as children, and how theyonly waited till Fyodor Bogdanitch was out of the roomto fling pillows at each other and laugh, laugh irrepressibly,so that even their awe of Fyodor Bogdanitch could notcheck the effervescing, overbrimming sense of life andhappiness. And now that bent, hollow chest...and I, notknowing what will become of me, or wherefore..K...ha! K...ha! Damnation! Why do you keepfidgeting, why dont you go to sleep? his brothers voicecalled to him.Oh, I dont know, Im not sleepy.I have had a good sleep, Im not in a sweat now. Justsee, feel my shirt; its all wet, isnt it?Levin felt, withdrew behind the screen, and put out thecandle, but for a long while he could not sleep. Thequestion how to live had hardly begun to grow a littleclearer to him, when a new, insoluble question presenteditself—death.Why, hes dying—yes, brande nicole roderick
